Cheryl

I know it's always been like this

Sun, 17 Oct 2004 01:17:31 GMT

I got an email from our beloved GOP stating that we all must start donating now to plan ahead for the inevitable demand for a re-count in the aftermath of the upcoming election. To someone like me, this implies that they already know they're going to win because of certain pre-arrangements of which they'd rather the American public remain completely ignorant. Why would someone object to a re-count unless they had something to hide? They mentioned that the liberal bastards tried to steal the election last time and totally disregarded the law and democracy and blah blah blah. I find this amusing considering the many people wrongly disenfranchised by the current incumbent's underhanded schemes. And here's just one more scheme to maintain and secure America as the world's most widely hated nation, and their place at the top of it.

I'm not convinced the revolution will come, they never really change anything when they do. This is the history of the world, after all, humanity never learns from its mistakes.

Just call me "the punching bag with headphones"

Fri, 04 Jun 2004 02:18:51 GMT

I'm at work. The thing about answering phones for a bunch of businesses is that there are some of them that people call solely for the purpose of taking out their aggression on the first person who answers the phone.

I just took this call for one of our accounts that has a bad connection, and the man was almost deaf anyway. So I was already yelling at him. Then when he finally heard that I was saying "answering service" after the company name he started yelling at me.

"The company is supposed to open at 8, it's after 8!" and I said "Yes, sir, it is after 8 am. They're open 8 am to 6 pm."

"Exactly!" he screamed, "So why are you saying 'answering service'?! It's 6 minutes AFTER 8!!"

So I replied, "Sir, I don't know why you're yelling at me. I told you they open at 8 am and close at 6 pm. It's 8 P-M now! What don't you understand about that?"

It went on like that for MUCH longer than it should have until he finally understood that he was, in fact, calling me in the evening--not the morning. And then of course he didn't actually decide to treat me like a normal human being who was just doing her job, he just said "ok" and hung up.

I need a vacation....

~the anonymous bitch who answers your miscellaneous calls

little of this, little of that

Thu, 27 Feb 2003 01:56:44 GMT

New snow boots make walking in inches and inches of snow a lot easier, but hurt my feet after wearing them all day. I am taking aerobics, ballet, musical theatre dance, and animals this semester. What's animals, you ask? Well, it's a class where one chooses an animal to "be," studies that animal, and becomes that animal through movements, behavior, sounds, etc. Much more is involved than just pretending; humans just don't move around like animals every day, so one can end up extremely sore in places that have never been acknowledged in one's life. But it's great for the imagination and the confidence. And if it weren't for all the other active classes on top of that, I probably wouldn't be doing such a good job at it. I just finished "The Kill" on Monday--this is a made up scenario where one's animal kills another (imaginary) animal of equal strength and size. I was a wolverine (they're fierce and really wierd), and so I killed another wolverine who was gettin' all up in my territory. It's an indescribable experience. I'm sure that if anyone actually reads this they'll have no idea how to interpret what goes on in the class, but I am ever on a quest to find someone, ANYone, who understands the full impact that animals class is having on my life. These are such strange demands to place on oneself.

I've improved my life in many ways. There was a period of time that I would convince myself not to audition for things because I didn't have the confidence or the motivation to do it. I have that now. I actually can't conceive of NOT having auditioned for The Vagina Monologues, because it is a play that means so much to me. And to be cast in the exact role I wanted...in the past I wouldn't have thought I could do that. But I did. I go to class much more often, and when I don't go, I refrain from beating myself up so much. I spend more time focusing on things that make me happy. But I have a lot less time for a social life, and I am struggling with incorporating more. I have joined philosophy club, and I am hell-bent on going every week possible. My health has stayed extremely good as well, and I know that has to do with my overall well-being. This has all been just a collection of ramblings, but I've been needing to record this somewhere...and I'm bored at work with nothing to do. Now it's time to close, however, so I must go

Are you a god? would you create me new?

Tue, 11 Jun 2002 18:00:52 GMT

Transform me then, and to your power I'll yield.
But if that I am I, then well I know
Your weeping sister is no wife of mine,
Nor to her bed no homage do I owe;
Far more, farmore to you do I decline;
O, train me not, sweet mermaid, with thy note
To drown me in thy sister's flood of tears;
Sing, siren, for thyself, and I will dote;
Spread o'er the silver waves thy golden hairs,
And as a bed I'll take thee, and there lie,
And in that glorious supposition think
He gains by death that hath such means to die;
Let love, being light, be drowned if she sink.

Yeah.

It's the last week of my Shakespeare class, and that's a part of my final scene. The five weeks of this class have gone as grudgingly fast as a turd on fire. Shakespeare ain't the only poet up in here. I've loved William, I've hated him, I've compared his characters to adult swim. I'm gonna get a low A or a high B in this class. And then I'm gonna get a second job. Speaking of jobs, I need to clock in here at the good ol' library. Peace out.

What else?

Mon, 29 Apr 2002 18:07:11 GMT

It's finals week here in Muncie. This weekend I almost ended up without a boyfriend. And you know what? I didn't even care. It's very difficult to explain the things I have gone through, and it's not like I mind them--he's a handful and I've always known that. I'm just tired of dealing with an "almost breakup" every weekend. I told him on the phone Saturday (which was the day it all went down) that I wasn't going to ask him anymore to still be my boyfriend. I feel too pathetic doing it, and I'm worth a lot more than that. If he wants to be a child, he can do that on his own damn time. Then if he realizes what he's done wrong, fine. And if not, it's his loss. I'm not going through these kinds of circular arguments again. I just don't need it.

Also, there's a guy by the name of Steven Black who lives with me. He was only allowed to move in because everyone needed the rent money. But he is a royal pain in the ass. You have never in your life met a bigger social retard than this guy. I promise. Yesterday he got on the phone to his mom asking her how to make peach cobbler using a large can of peaches (which belonged to me), and bisquick (which belongs to Austin). Now, he had never asked to borrow either of these items. He just assumed that he could have them. So when he got off the phone we were like "um, were you going to ask to use those?" and he gets all shitty saying that I had told him before that he could use the peaches (which I NEVER did) and that he had asked "everyone in the house" if the bisquick was theirs and nobody claimed it so he thought it was something left over from the last people who had lived there (there is NOTHING left over from the last people who lived there, and he never asked any of us if it was ours). So we had to leave to get some groceries with Austin's dad. When we got back, he had USED OUR STUFF. After we had just told him not to. You have never seen an argument the likes of the one that ensued after that. And this was after having subjected us to hours of his stupid Babylon 5 episodes and really terrible shows like that, because he thinks that just because it's his tv he gets to watch whatever he wants whenever he wants--outvoted or not. This is not an isolated occurence, mind you. He does things like this ALL THE TIME. Like, he always used to feed my cat catnip after I told him not to--multiple times. Every bowl of catfood would have catnip just sprinkled all over in it. And then even after we finally got him to stop putting it in there (for awhile), he put it in the treats, and fed it to him all the time when he thought we weren't looking. Oh yeah, and one time he was making this tuna casserole shit for Shawn (which Shawn didn't even ask him to make in the first place--he's always doing shit like that), and he had scooped Shawn some out of the pot and Shawn started eating it. Then neurotic asshole Black remembers that he had forgotten an ingredient--cream of mushroom soup. So he's like "give me your bowl back Shawn I need to put this in it". And Shawn doesn't like cream of mushroom soup so he was like "I'll just eat it like it is" And Black's like "I made it for you, so you're gonna eat it how I like it, you little bitch!" (he calls him a little bitch a lot, in a very girly whiny tone) He then snatches the bowl out of Shawn's hand, pours the stuff back in the pot, mixes in his nasty soup, and then puts some back in the bowl and gives it back to Shawn. Then when we ALL said something about how neurotic and stupid it was that he did that, he chose ME (being the only female in the room) to be an asshole to. The list goes on and on. It's ridiculous how terrible life is in that house when he is in it. He has GOT to leave, before one of us kills him. Or all of us just gang up and kill him. Austin and I were talking the other day about how if we could somehow video tape him we could make a reality show about it. Believe me, people would watch--he's that insane.

Anywho, that's basically all that's up right now. I need to go get something to eat and maybe work on some monologues. Later!

On the floor, kicking (but not screaming)

Mon, 22 Apr 2002 19:41:37 GMT

Well, I guess the thing on my mind most right now is The Laramie Project. It's the Pulitzer-Prize winning drama about Matthew Shepard--the University of Wyoming guy who was brutally beaten and left for dead a few years ago because he was gay. I auditioned to play his lesbian best friend (among other characters, since actors play about 5 characters apiece), and before I even auditioned I knew I didn't have a chance. Why, do you ask? Well, I'll tell you why. I found out just Friday (auditions were Saturday) that a girl from the department actually called information to get ahold of the girl who the character is based on (Romaine Patterson is the name) and talked to her on the phone all night--and then im as well. Romaine wrote her a letter of recommendation to play this part. And she was cast. Apparently other people in the department have been doing the same stuff. Sure, that seems like a pretty good idea and all, but it's also EXTREMELY exploitative, considering the subject matter of this show. I am overwhelmed by the ridiculousness that has entered into the audition process here.

One of the hardest things for me to deal with now is that the people here have seen me flounder over and over, and now that I'm really really trying to learn and do a good job they seem to be giving me absolutely no help. I see them helping countless other people, giving them good feedback and constructive criticism. But with me it's just kinda like "oh, that was nice. next."
Except Mandy Fox. But she's leaving next year to teach graduate school in Ohio.
Also it seems the politics have just gotten worse and worse over the 4 years I've been here. At first they weren't that bad--of course they were present, but they're always going to be. But now, if you aren't one of the people that have gotten cast a lot already, you don't have a chance. And I think that has a lot to do with the fact that Bill Jenkins is here. He has a certain group of people he always chooses from, and that's the ONLY group he chooses. He even convinced a guy who is graduating this semester to come back and take one or two classes for one more semester so he can be in The Laramie Project. It all just smells so funny.

Well, I know you're all wondering how to get ahold of me since I've been unreachable for awhile. The aol account is no more. I might either get another one or have the same one re-instated, but I'm not incredibly concerned. You can still reach me through wonderbritches@planet-save.com, or krazychikn@yahoo.com. The yahoo account fills up a lot though because the junk-mail guys love me and I don't check it enough, so planet-save is the safest bet. Not to mention the whole saving five square feet of rainforest thing. Many appy-polly-logies for not getting in touch sooner, but I've found myself extremely busy, as I'm sure you guys probably have too. There are many things I could get into further, but I really must go, and they're a lot of heavy things that put me into an interesting mood...so I'll either post about it later or maybe email.
Schnoogins

And we peeked out our heads...

Fri, 18 Jan 2002 20:08:45 GMT

I seem to slowly be waking...or thawing...like it's been winter and I've been sort of hibernating for awhile, and now it's spring. Could that mean I'm inching out of this funk that has consumed me for a couple years now? I don't know. I have thought along those lines before. It's still a painful and SLOW (can I say it enough?) process, in which every day is some sort of struggle. To get out of bed...to go to an audition...to still go to class even though I'm going to be a little bit late and people will look at me funny and maybe the prof will even mark me down as a half an absence since that's what it says in the syllabus...to speak up around other theatre people who may not be QUITE as bad as they seem.
Oddly, it almost seems like it was a boy who helped me ease into this hibernation (JJ showed me how to sleep all day even more than I already did), and it is a boy who is helping me ease out of it. Not that either one of them really DID anything. The fact that JJ didn't go to class got me accustomed to an even worse pattern of not going than I was already in, and then when we broke up it just got worse still. Now, the fact that Austin HAS to go to class and do well or his parents will cut him off motivates me in some way to be HIS motivator. And the best way I can do that, pull myself out of this crap, raise my confidence, and get on the right track, is to do well myself.

Don't think that I am in any way attributing my problems or lack of problems to a couple of guys. That isn't it at all. I am merely making an observation that the behaviors/situations of these guys did influence my life...basically because I allowed them to. This time it just happens to have turned out for the good instead of the bad. I know that I have grown a lot since the days of my gay-ex-boyfriend...it wasn't altogether the most enjoyable experience, this "growing" thing...but if everything were enjoyable, nothing would be enjoyable. With the yin comes the yang and all that jazz.

Side note (having absolutely nothing to do with the rest of this entry)--I told my "roommates" (the people upstairs, who are more truly my roommates than the people downstairs) about the Shanda Sharer murder last night, and I was struck by how bizarre that thing really was. It was weird to even THINK about it again. If you know of the events, go over them in your mind again, and see if you feel the same way. It hardly seems like a real occurrence. Like some odd urban legend or the plot to a movie. Geez. Hollywood.
Actually we were talking about bad musicals, and I told them about when the guy from NA who is some big acting agent now came to school and told us they'd made an off-broadway about that called Hazelwood Jr High and it was really BAD.
You know what. I think I'd rather do off-broadway, myself. That's where all the kooky stuff happens.
There's a musical called "Bat-boy". It's about the bat-boy from the National Enquirer. That would be worth hearing/seeing. Cannibal: the Musical is pretty good as well. Josh has it on dvd.

By the way, that's another thing. I think I might have called him a fuck-ass in one of my past entries, but he has actually turned out to be the coolest roommate I had downstairs, and now that he lives upstairs (where I am 99.9% of the time), and we're in that improv troupe together, we hang out a lot. Now who's the fuck-ass?

Well, I should go. I've wasted tons of time with my jibba jabba. Time that could have been spent searching for the ever-elusive endangered species I like to call a "job". If I didn't know any better I would say that they were extinct in the Muncie part of the world.

*gurgle*

Eh

Wed, 16 Jan 2002 19:33:30 GMT

The jobless theme running through my life here in Muncie is not only old and tiresome, but also frustrating, bewildering, and bordering on ridiculous. No, it IS ridiculous. Anywhere I go to turn in an app I get the same reply. "We just hired somebody yesterday." What the fuck is that? Huh? It has happened to me this way at least 3 times now. Three times I've been ONE DAY LATE. How? How does this happen to a normal person who is in desperate need of employment? It's not like I go there a week after I find out. I go the day I find out, and they don't tell me THEN that I'm not needed. No, they tell me when I come back with the fully filled-out application in hand and that little gleam of hope/desperation in my eyes. This is bullshit, I say. Bullshit. I'll only be able to get a campus job when I'm signed up for ONE MORE CREDIT, which in turn will only happen if a credit in voice opens up--who knows if that will happen. My life is just lunacy and it never ends.

So as for everything else, I have a difficult voice for the actor project to do before the 30th and I'm not sure how I'm going to find people who are from foreign lands to help me out with it. I've been going to counseling here at the school...trying hard to help myself. It's alright I guess, but I've only been to two sessions, so we're just now getting into the "goals" of our therapy. I've had a pretty steady bedtime and waketime, which helps a lot. Yesterday I had an audition for some scenes that were to be filmed for a directing class but I punked out again. I'm out of habit, and the confidence is pretty low. The bitch who was running my improv troupe is reportedly moving back to Indy, so hopefully we'll be able to make the troupe better than ever. Not only that, but the two people who were kind of holding us back because they're not really open-minded or, lets face it, smart, have also pretty much quit. So now we can have auditions, play the games we want to play, and rehearse as much as we want (which is a lot, because we know we need practice).

I would like, at some point, to stop feeling like that damn pit-stain I played in 42nd Street.

pit-stain: n. cheryl slang for one whose sole purpose is to sit in the pit during a show and sing along into a microphone

Well, I'm gonna tag that shit and get it the fuck out of here.

Peace.

Enter: boy, 19, into Cheryl's life

Thu, 27 Sep 2001 19:58:38 GMT

Or did I enter into his? I dunno. Seems I keep going for the Irish Catholic schoolboy types. You know, the ones who have been doing drugs since they were 13...they've read The Hobbit a million times...they're possessed with high intelligence and just a tinge of arrogance--oh, and definitely unorthodox ideas on religion. We all know the type.

He's my upstairs neighbor in the duplex where I live. I went up there Sunday night because I was bored and wanted to see what was going on up there. I stayed up talking till 6 am, and then when I came back downstairs everyone was awake here too. So I was just up all night. Monday I was loopy as fuck. Then that night instead of going to sleep I even ended up staying awake till 6 again (and then I crashed). The last couple of nights we've talked more about what's happening between the two of us. I'm kinda taking it slowly as far as physical stuff. That's kinda strange for me, but it feels much better.

Otherwise, there's this kid Shawn who has a crush on me and wants to hang out sometime. It's rather out of the question, though. He's 16. He's a real sweetheart, and hella intelligent, and if I were 16 he'd probably be much better for me than that damn Ricky was. But as it is, it would make more sense were he to date my sister. She's a lot closer to his age than I.

I think I'm going to New York this weekend for a Socialist gathering type thing. That should be cool. 'Specially since I've never been there.

Job hunting is nigh-impossible. Rent money is due next week. Ack.

I guess that's about it. I'd make it longer but I'm feeling pretty brief today, and I want to eat something.

Later!

Cheryl

Degentrification; or, You May Say I'm a Dreamer (but I'm not the only one)

Tue, 18 Sep 2001 01:00:58 GMT

This weekend was an amazing time for me. It began kinda slowly, and a bit disappointingly. I found that anytime I EVER actually go out on a limb, make an effort, and make plans they will invariably go awry. This is not a bad thing, I guess, because we always find other fun things to do. It's just a bit disappointing because I get excited when I think something is going to be cool and when it isn't (or doesn't even happen) I feel like I've let my friends down (even though they usually don't really care).

So Friday I went out with Jeff and two of his friends. I'd planned on going to see a band play with some influences listed as Miles Davis, Bob Marley, and Fela Kuti (among others). I was kind of excited about checking them out, although my hopes were not unjustifiably high. Too bad that we ended up driving all over Muncie looking for the party, and once we found it there WAS no party. All we found was a house with one person there listening to some rap. I dunno. So we decided to come back to my place and watch a movie whilst partaking in some alcohol and free pizza. Not the MOST exciting Friday night, but it beats the hell outta sellin' my body for crack, can I get an amen?

So then Saturday I wake up and the phone is ringing. I expect that it will be Kelli since we are scheduled to do something together, but it is not. It is a male voice, and a familiar one. I thought "hey, this sounds like...no, couldn't be.."
It was. One Mr. David Jarboe. My reaction (as it should have been): "what the fuck?!!!"
So I agreed to meet him at the mt cup. When I got there, I saw a bunch of stuff that you could just tell belonged to him, a dog, and no David. Once he got back we hung out, but the dog was a constant problem. Anytime we wanted to go somewhere, or do anything, the dog was a hindrance. He'd found it a week earlier, and if it had been a well-behaved dog it would have been ok, but it insisted on being a jerk (always barking, peeing on anything, humping david's leg, et c.). Eventually, later that evening, we dropped the dog off at Animal Rescue Fund (ARF) so that it would have a better chance of being put in a home where it could be taken care of and maybe taught a few manners.

David had gotten here by hopping trains and hitching. He had tried to get a train out of Fort Wayne, but the dog made his presence known--getting him in handcuffs and kicked out of Fort Wayne. So then he spent the night in a truck stop, and came here. He had been attempting to get to a hobo gathering in Pennsylvania (I think), but since he couldn't he decided to do something else that he'd been wanting to do--try and make peace with someone who used to be his friend. Funnily enough, now he's found out that the gathering wasn't until next week, so he still hasn't missed it. Yet again events just fall into place in an auspicious manner.

So Kelli came and we went to Yart. I got to introduce them to my friend Bergen, and got to meet her son. That was pretty cool. Then we brought Robin and Nathaniel to Muncie and went to what I thought was going to be an Absolunacy reunion show along with a couple bands playing. It was actually Absolunacy (only the current cast, which is chock full of new amateurs--not very seasoned yet) opening for the bands. And the bands sucked ass.
We kept having to tend to the dog outside because he couldn't behave, and someone called the police thinking the dog was abandoned (but all was ok in that area). Then the suck-ass band started playing Dave Matthews and I bolted out of there like it was on fire. We then decided to get something to eat (on the way was when we took the dog to ARF). I chose Greeks Pizza because it was good and it was still open.

Nathaniel is one of the most intelligent people I've had the pleasure of meeting, and I think all of us were pretty impressed with each other. David's way of life is not something most people see every day, and each of our unique views created a forum for some awesome conversation.

Yesterday we woke up and went to the Washington Street fair. Wholesomeness abounded. A guy was there that reminded me of Cam Howard (or his dad), playing folk songs and old music (like Tea for Two). When we finished with that, we took a walk around Muncie and talked some more. Walked all freakin over the place. Found a parrot candle on top of someone's garbage--which we were going to go back and get, but couldn't find it later. Then we ended up going to an abandoned, half-demolished factory, crawling underneath the broken chain-link fence. It was amazing. If I could take pictures worth a damn, it would have been a hell of a place to do it. If I could film worth a damn, it would have been a hell of a place to do it. If I could paint or sketch worth a damn, well, you get he picture. As it is, I can write worth a damn, and I'm going to try to the best of my ability to write something worthy of it sometime. We "tagged" it with a permanent marker, writing some quotes and stuff, and explored the whole premises. There was an abandoned car there--it was all screwed up, but all the windows were intact. So we decided to fix that. Very satisfying. I found a sign on the ground. American Revolution Bicentennial '76. It's now sitting on my porch.

I'd forgotten how great it could be to go exploring like this. He kept inviting me to go hop a train with him, and if I didn't have these commitments to follow through on, I probably would have.
David pulled the scab off my wanderlust, and I'm itchy...
To adventure...to let go of conventional life...to join the revolution of raw, unadulterated freedom...

Okay. I know. It IS a pretty dream though, aint it?

Till next time,
Hobo Skillet

There's a huge fucking flag hanging on my front porch

Fri, 14 Sep 2001 22:31:17 GMT

Sigh...I guess it's time for a rant.

I have spent most of the week trying to avoid arguments with mainstream American sheep. But I keep getting pulled into them.

First off, anyone who believes much of anything the news has ever told them needs to shut the fuck up.

Second, backing the president, and all this "patriotism" is
A. something I just cannot do,
2. just a ploy to push huge amounts of the right-wing agenda, and
E. an abstract idea that has no real meaning anyway

The fact is, my support or non-support does not affect him or the actions of the government in any way. Therefore, it is a ludicrous concept in my estimation.

Allow me to just add in here the fact that I AM extremely sympathetic to what happened. I think it WAS (and still is) a terrible tragedy that should never have happened, and I have been very upset by it. But it is simply a symptom of a larger problem. First Isreal made itself a trap for terrorism against its citizens, and now its allies, the good ol' United States, has followed suit. Terrorism is only beginning, and killing countless other innocent citizens in the name of vengeance is not only counterproductive, but it is also an unthinkable evil on our part.

Anyone who is ethnocentric and naive enough to believe that there is no reason whatsoever for other countries to be angry at America, and that Americans are the only human beings on earth truly capable of determining the concepts of justice, truth, good, evil, et c., needs to learn a LOT about humility, humanity, history, and the truth behind our foreign dealings. Everyone's the good guy in his/her own mind. Educate yourselves, people, come ON!

I do not presume to claim that I am super-intelligent and know everything there is to know. I am not, and I do not. I suck and I know it. I am just tired of being one of the few people who actually try NOT to suck and even acknowledge that they MIGHT suck.

I know there's more I wanted to say, I'm just weary, and I'm sure anyone who actually stuck with me till the end of this without punching a Muslim is probably weary also. You know, my views may be quite unpopular right now, but I am not alone. I choose to focus on the real problems and refuse to allow fanatacism or the bullshit the media is feeding me to cloud my judgment. And if anything I've written is pissing you off, and you think I shouldn't be allowed to write stuff like this, I'd like to urge you to ask yourself why.

Get out of my chair dammit

Wed, 29 Aug 2001 20:52:06 GMT

I went to class today, in spite of my nagging desire for sleep. I've been trying to think of a way to reward myself for this feat since I've been an especially good student thus far, but haven't come up with one that's quite suitable. Maybe I'll just owe myself one. Then I could like save up my rewards and cash them in for something big.

Indeed, I've been thinking this way today. Creating incentives for myself.

You know what I hate?!!! Josh, one of my roommates, sits in my cute awesome green chair with his FAT ASS all day and plays video games. Twisting and bending it ways it just wouldn't go with a normal sized human being, or a human who actually cared about keeping it nice. He just stood up to get a drink of gatorade (just now, as I'm typing) and SLAMMED his ass back down in it, making a clunking noise. He rocks back and forth and the poor springs make a pathetic groaning noise. My poor chair. What a fuck-ass. Looks like I'm gonna have to make room for it in my bedroom. I'm tired of his ass in it. I just hope I can rescue it before it's too late.

Saw Nathan today, we talked more about the show. How it would be fun if instead of smoking a cigarette in one scene his character smoked something altogether else. That would make sense. "The horses are lookin' at me man! Look at their eyes! Shit man, they're wiggin' me out! Stop lookin' at me ya fuckin' horse!"
"....mmm...cheetos..."

My professor was talking about the starbucks in the new student center today. Apparently it's now open. Ugh

I'm gonna go look at the classifieds and possibly take a nap now. Peace out.

All is not as it may have seemed.

Mon, 27 Aug 2001 22:16:20 GMT

Well, many many things have happened since my last post...some important, some not so much, some monumental, some unsuitable for children (ok, probably MOST of them are in some way).

Where to begin? Well, first things first, I didn't get cast this semester. Big surprise. Well, actually this time I wasn't prepared mainly BECAUSE of the whole mail thing. Since I didn't get any info this summer, I didn't know that Cat on a Hot Tin Roof wasn't until NEXT semester. So the Tennessee Williams monologue I had prepared was pretty useless to me. So, 2 hours before auditions--actually just a little while after my last update, I went tearing frantically through my room trying to find audition material. I ended up just using a monologue that I already knew but was still completely inappropriate for the plays being cast. But that was ok because I didn't really even LIKE those plays that much. None of them called out to me--basically I'd had my heart set on that damn Williams show and since that was not an option, fuck it.

Good news, though. I should be fine as far as being in a show this semester anyway. My friend Nathan really wants me to be in his show. He is directing and starring in Equus at some theatre near Muncie, and he told me even BEFORE auditions that if I didn't get cast in shows at BSU he really wanted to cast me as the love interest. This is a really awesome show, and a great role for me to play. And it will be so much fun to work with Nathan again. Auditions are this weekend...and I don't really think I'll have a problem considering he already said he wanted me to have the role and he's the director.

In other nudes, speaking of love interests, my cute hippy friend Seth came to visit me this weekend (the one from Austin). We hung out all weekend saw the *lack of* sites of Muncie, watched Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, shared some of our respective "writings", talked a whole lot, and...well...yeah, I'm not gonna lie, much sex was had. It was just a great weekend. And I had a first. Not that anyone is dying to know this, but I had my first coital orgasm. I've had plenty otherwise (oral, manual, et c.), but this was my first of its kind. I found that quite a noteworthy happening, so I decided to share. He's SO sweet, and I'm immensely glad he came to Muncie. I needed that. Hanging with him all weekend, although very tiring, was quite good for my soul.

Otherwise, classes are going well. I like 'em, pretty much. I'm meeting some pretty cool people--today there was a guy I should have talked to, he was wearing a shirt that said "Some leaders are born women", and I read it and we smiled at each other. But I had to go to class, as I'm sure did he. Hopefully we shall meet again. I need to find a job. And my dad is being shitty again--he owes me some money, wrote me some checks, but I can't cash them because he doesn't have the money in the bank. Ugh.

I guess that's it for now (there's always SOMETHING I haven't said, of course). It's over, you can all go home now.

Your friendly vending machine repair man

The world is my oyster in this magical time before classes begin

Fri, 17 Aug 2001 21:40:09 GMT

Well well well. Is it time for me to make one of my rare appearances on here? I think it is!

I'm having a grand time here in Muncie. I have a place now. It's a beautiful old Victorian home (the bottom half of a duplex). Rent is cheaper than I could ever hope, there's a washer and dryer, the people are great, we have 2 kitties and a puppy for me to play with, one of the guys knows everything about computers (so he's gonna help make mine cooler), there's any kind of entertainment I could possibly want, it's technically a clothes optional house (no one really does it though), and it's just...comfy.
The one drawback is that it's pretty far from campus. But there are bikes, and the people here have cars, so I think I'll be ok.

I still owe over $300 to the school for my summer class (the week-long intensive), and my account is on hold until I pay that...so I guess I need to pay that or something if I want to be a student this semester. I have auditions tonight...not as prepared as I'd like to be, but at least now I know why I didn't get any info this summer. Apparently about half of the info packets they sent out this summer got lost in the mail. Mine just HAD to be in that half, didn't it. Ugh. Oh well, at least my singing audition isn't till tomorrow...still have a little time to work on that...(don't know what to sing!!!!)

Well, time to go work on the ol' monologue.
My goals? To show them some real growth from my previous auditions, that I should continue in the program, and to earn a role in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (preferably Maggie).
Or, now that I know they're doing it in the cave, I'd like to have the lead in Violet. 'Tis a pretty good musical, and a good role.

Take care of yerselves!
Cheryl

My little ball of contempt

Fri, 01 Dec 2000 19:16:40 GMT

I'd love to lob it at some unsuspecting person's head. Why don't we have socialized medicine? Why is it that people with AIDS can't get the medication they need because it's too expensive? What are they going to do with it when no one can buy it? That's what it's for. To heal. Why do people get turned away from hospitals because they don't have sufficient insurance? If the hospital is just there to make ungodly amounts of money, then where do people go when they actually need someone to treat them like human beings and make them better? People get ill, people get hurt, they go to the doctor. I expect the doctor to help me when I go to her/him with an illness or injury. That's what I've always been told is SUPPOSED to happen when I go to the doctor. But it isn't what happens at all in reality.
I know you're probably thinking "what, is she sick or something?"
Nope, not sick, just angry. Stupid country. Money grubbing people that care for nothing but THINGS. Things that have no importance when it's all put into perspective, but they're so caught up in their own greed that they don't see this, or pretend it isn't so because if they have more STUFF accumulated at the end than the common man, doesn't that somehow make them better? Superior to mere mortals.
I'm emotional today. I don't know why. Thought about talking to a counselor about my sleep habits...but then that would take too much time away from everything else I wanted to do. Like possibly take a nap. (sorry, little jokie-joke)
Group evaluation in modern theatre. Three people gave me 7's (which is, of course, a C). I want to kick them hard. I'm an agreeable person (which, I'm sure, is contrary to what you've seen here in my livejournals--I have a tendency to turn my entries into little rants; it's very cathartic), but there was this girl in my group with whom I just couldn't get along. Every time I turned around she was verbally attacking me (and others) so I just got fed up and raised my voice with her a bit. We apologized later and everything seemed to be ok, but she obviously harboured some leftover resentment. Which I fully expected, although I didn't allow her sour attitude to affect my assessment of her. I refuse to kiss someone's shoes to get a good grade. So I guess that's what I get for having self-respect (or maybe it's just a big ego, I'm not ruling that out). Most people gave me 8's though, and I got a few 9's too. And the professor told me I deserved AT LEAST a B. And I also got a nice cushy 96 on one of his horrendously mind-blowing tests. That says it all, I think.

Melancholy crap in Indiana

Sun, 08 Oct 2000 08:10:22 GMT

So I remembered that I had this damn thing finally. Maybe I'll start writing more often. Maybe I won't. Maybe my dad will stop being an asshole. Yeah. I wanted to get away this weekend. Just to get away from this school, this town, these worries. And of course I had no way to leave because my friends weren't able to be mooched off of this weekend. I tried to call my dad and he treated me like total shit. Wouldn't even talk to me after denying me. And then I called the next day because he told me to, that he "might" come get me (which meant no, of course). He said he could come up Sunday. I am upset. Reaching an all-time low as far as emotions. Come up Sunday to visit. Since I wanted them up here, right? No. That's the complete opposite of what I needed. Needing to get away from this place is just not the same as bringing my family up here for a few hours. So instead of talking to me like a rational human being he refuses to talk to me again. Tells my mom to take the phone. My mom won't take it, and an argument ensues. So, feeling horrible since my parents don't feel inclined to talk to me while I'm showing any kind of emotion, I hang up. Excuse me for not being in the mood to sit around and be passed back and forth as if I'm the foster child nobody wanted. So of course now he's not even coming up Sunday to bring me my winter coat. Never mind the fact that it should be snowing here soon. Hey, no matter. I hung up on him (when he had no intention of talking to me). How dare I be such a little bitch and hang up the phone on him. He can treat me like all kinds of shit, but the second I decide not to be the brunt of his abuse I no longer deserve a warm winter coat. That'll show me. I'll get pneumonia, and that'll teach me not to hang up on HIM. Who do I think I am anyway?

Bitterness is all I have sometimes, forgive me.

On a lighter note, I had a wonderful night tonight. Went for a drive around north-eastern Indiana. Went to a street-fair where there were mullets and carnies a-plenty. Saw a beautiful sunset amidst beautiful scenery. I actually noticed how flat the "plain" up here really is. I noticed the ancient and crumbling stone fence-posts. Trees and sky...great music. Soundtrack music. Andy has such interesting stories, too. He knows about the little towns around here, they have such fun history (stuff that the history books would never tell you). It was a really cool day, and I guess I would never have had it if I'd gone home for the weekend. I still have trouble forgiving the fact that I was ill-treated by the asshole who always knows what to do to make me cry. It's way too easy for him, really. I get so weary. There is no home for me. Now I can only long for a record store in Louisville. As if I didn't already...

Disgruntled and tired

Wed, 26 Jul 2000 06:57:45 GMT

Yes. People do suck. Whatever one might say about "opening your heart" and that bullshit, I will not stop believing that. When I keep this fact in mind whenever I meet someone new, I am much more apt to be understanding to their shortcomings and treat them with much more kindness. If my expectations were at all high, I'd probably not be able to control myself when I realized what dumbasses the people with whom I come in contact truly are.

Now that all of those unpleasantries are overwith, welcome to my first journal entry. Thank you Rob for introducing me to livejournal. One more thing to waste my useless time :)

I start my new job today at Package Labels. I'm going to be collating and making mailing packets and junk like that. Fun.

One of the greatest people ever, and my roommate-to-be, Sarah, is leaving for Europe today. Too bad I won't be able to see her off because I'll be hard at work doing her former job. She has graciously given me the temp job she's been working so that I can finally make some money this summer. Woohoo!

On the down-side of the news, whilst I was at Sarah's watching her pack, our friends, instead of going to her house and watching her pack like good friends, went to see X-men without us. Neither of us have seen it yet, and both of us want to (although I probably want to way more than she). They are dorks, and that came straight from the mouth of one of these alleged dorks.

This just in: Nathan Erdel is a borderline duck. Details at 11.

I got a free dinner at Texas Roadhouse. Yum yum.
Then I got shoes and a pleather jacket and this neat beeded shirt. All at fabulous prices. Don't be jealous of me.

I'm done now. Stop looking at my journal. You're making me uncomfortable.